Take the time.

I work a corporate job with FedEx. Those of you who are “FedExers” know you have to use your vacation time by May 31st. I didn’t because with this pandemic and working from home, vacation hasn’t been on my mind, so I had 40 hours that carried over. The only catch, the time had to be used within 90 days. Again, I forget which meant I had to take the last days of August.

Here’s the blessing, this coincided with my Grams getting sicker and I got the chance to spend the last two weeks of her earthly life with her. Y’all, I’m so glad I did. There were memories made with her, my mom, aunts, uncles, sisters and cousins that wouldn’t have happened otherwise. We got to hear Grams tell stories, there were times we’d laugh all night and others were emotional. I got to hear her say how proud she was of me, how much she loved me and I even have some videos to hear her voice.

Why am I sharing this? Truth is, in a way it’s therapeutic because I find myself wanting to scream from the pain of losing her. Understand, I’m not overly sad, but I do miss her. I don’t want you to feel sorry or think of me with pity, Grams lived to be 90 and I rejoice for that. I’m sharing this, not because I’m in a bad head space or can’t deal with my grief, but as a reminder for you to take the time.

Some of you have been contemplating whether you should take a day off, go on that vacation, spend time with family or friends, etc. Take the time. Even if you don’t leave home or have anything planned, take the time. While you’re taking the time; take pictures, take videos, take a walk, take a break … just don’t take a moment for granted.

“How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog—it’s here a little while, then it’s gone.” – James 4:14

Daily Devotional – 12/28/17 “Will you have the time?”

She had the house, the finest car and the custom-made clothes. She was top in her graduating class and her business was booming. She vowed to never go back to the place she was raised because it had nothing for her. Sure, she sent money home to her parents but all the siblings had to know it. Sure, she made the occasional calls but it was to brag, never to ask about them. When her mom got sick, she sent flowers. When her sister was losing her house, she sent a check with conditions. She never made time for anybody or anything unless it benefited her, even God. Yes, she joined a church but not to serve, she liked the honorable mentions of being the biggest tithe payer. But then a stroke knocked and it crippled her. The people at the church, they didn’t show up. Her employees, they didn’t come. Her family did. The same parents she hollered at whenever they asked her to come home. The same brother she “didn’t fool with” because of prior drug use, he was there. The sister she called a slut for having two babies out-of-wedlock, she was there. They wiped the mouth that had been so foul. They helped her learn to walk again even though she used to walk all over them. They help with speech therapy, although she never had anything good to say.

One night as she lay in the bedroom she grew up in, trying to find strength to make her left arm move, she cried. Not because of the stroke but because of the space she’d allowed to grow between her and her family. She wanted to hug them but it was hard to do now. So she cried, realizing the money she made didn’t mean nothing because all they wanted was her. She cried because the bragging she did couldn’t bless her, the hating couldn’t heal her and the fancy stuff couldn’t free her. And now, the bible she never read lay stretched open on her nightstand and the God she’d forsaken, she now prayed to; thanking Him for the chance to make things right. She had time because this story isn’t real but what about you? Do you have the time to forgive, forget and make things right? Will you have the time to say “I forgive you,” “I love you,” “I’m sorry” or will your ego keep you from evolving and your pride keep you from offering peace? Will you have the time? Before 2017 closes, will you have the time make it right before you’re weeping to a casket that can’t speak back?